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Goodbye letter to my borderline personality disorder

A Goodbye Letter to My Borderline Personality Disorder

By Lynsey Nicholle

The Mighty August 28, 2019, 11:40 PM GMT+1

This isn’t going to be easy to type, considering the amount of time we have spent together the last six years, two months and five days. The day you came into my life you were dressed to perfection with your confidence and influencing ways. You spoke to me so subtly, though I could relate immensely to you. It was a conversation I had never experienced before in my life. Something so authentic and personal and you were there and you listened to me and I fit into you so perfectly like you were made for me; but, the thing is, you were made from me.

For so long I have thought that who I was, was you, borderline personality disorder,or BPD. You convinced me I was so much like you that night I first heard your name. You were spoken through the mouths of Wynona Ryder and Angelina Jolie starring in “Girl Interrupted.” I knew I belonged with you the moment my fingers went straight for my phone to type in your definition in the DSM5. You were laid out so vulnerably on the table, like a buffet, each dish representing a different part of you. I laid there thinking about trying each bite of you out. Starting with the unstable relationships and moving my way through the self-destructive behaviors. I wanted a big ole whoppin scoop of fearing abandonment and for desert I wanted to try out the explosive anger. It was like each bite I took, I was eating my own flesh. It was me, it was my body laid out there. You were so beautiful and you made sense, which for me in this world is all I need to happen. For something to make sense. I felt like I made sense.

You had me at hello. But you drove me to goodbye. We spent countless relationships self-destructing it. Not you, I mean me. Accusing you of unimaginable things, out of this world things, so fucked up I have seen it things. I was irrational but I feared losing you. Without you I could not exist. You gave my life meaning and purpose. As long as I acted how I was written, then I was a piece to the puzzle. I wasn’t a piece, I was the whole puzzle.

You had me believing I was the whole puzzle. I wasn’t even a piece to you. I was that lonesome vacant hole right in the middle. A hole surrounded by 999 people, supposedly just like me. It was a cult, really. We all worshiped you and looked up to you for guidance, but all you ever did for me was push the people who were closest to me away and filled me with a lifetime supply of anger and jealousy. You restrained me and held me hostage against myself, I couldn’t be myself because you were strict on how I had to act. My chameleon personality I soon began to think was what triggered the light in me.

I am leaving you, BPD. You and I are not the same. You have no more control over my life. The cutting has got to stop because I am so beautiful, why am I ruining my skin? My outer shell, I tattoo to hide the scars but they are still there, underneath, peaking through and staring at me reminding me of what you influenced me to do. I will admit, I had the choice… You were so convincing though. My communication with my loved ones will no longer be a tangled phone chord from the 70s. A true and genuine connection will hopefully be received on both ends. I am tired of hurting people and to be honest, I don’t need another roommate. Pack your behaviours and jump off a cliff.

The only reason I am leaving you this letter is so I can put you in the past and consider you a “learning experience.” I will never truly be healed from the scars you left, but that is OK because when I see them, I will no longer feel your guilt. No more games, BPD, please stay away

#myjourneythroughmadness #BPD #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Holistically Beautiful, Naturally : Naturally Beautiful

Holistically Beautiful, Naturally : Naturally Beautiful: There are many natural beauty tips, tricks, and recipes that you can make at home, and your kitchen contains all the ingredients you’ll need...

Do you believe in love?

When you meet someone who's 'crazy' compliments your 'crazy' , when your demons play nicely together and their eccentricity matches your own, chances are that you have met your soul mate ❤️♥️🖤❤️🖤 #ibelieveinlove #thereissomebodyforeverybody
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New Contact Details

**New Contact Number** for Text /WhatsApp /Voicemail: +447903 228988
**Email Address** : kristiet2018@outlook.com

KRISTIE AND BPD

The Form of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder a.k.a Borderline Personality Disorder than I have been diagnosed with is... **Cluster B: People diagnosed with cluster B personality disorders may find it hard to regulate their emotions. This may cause relationship problems. They may behave in a way that others consider overly emotional, dramatic, or erratic....
So, To My Family and Friends whom have accused me of being overly sentimental, emotional, sensitive and /dramatic... I can not help it sometimes, I struggle to regulate my emotions and feelings, and I ask you to be patient with me when it seems as though I am over reacting.... Please be mindful and demonstrate some Awareness & Tolerance..
Thank you ❤️ 🤗

Self Reflexology

BY MADISYN TAYLOR

Exploring our feet through self-reflexology can be an easy and free way to support our mind, body and spirit.

Our feet are home to literally thousands of nerve endings and almost seventy acupuncture points, which is why foot reflexology is so effective. By massaging and stimulating specific areas on the soles of our feet, we can provide general support for our entire body, improve sleep patterns, increase physical and mental wellbeing and also alleviate chronic conditions such as sinusitis and digestive upset. Although it is wonderful to work with an experienced foot reflexologist whenever possible, we can also develop a practice of treating ourselves to a self-reflexology treatment if we take some time for this purpose before we begin our day or in the evening to relax before going to bed. 

There are a number of different ways to work the soles of your feet, including walking barefoot on river stones, rolling each foot over a golf or tennis ball, or just using your fingers and hands to massage your feet. When starting a reflexology session, it's a good idea to begin with loosening up your ankles – rotate each foot clockwise then counterclockwise about ten times. You might also want to pinch the end of your toes, which can increase circulation and drainage in your sinuses and stimulate your pituitary and pineal glands. Then you can begin massaging the ball of your foot, the arch, and the heel. If you find that an area is tender, it may indicate some distress or dysfunction occurring in the corresponding area of the body. You may want to explore what is going on with that organ or system. 

Whether we are able to spend just a few minutes a day on this kind of self-care or a full half hour, our efforts are never wasted. By taking responsibility for our own health and taking time every day to connect with our body, we can not only assist our body in letting go of stress and dysfunction, but we can also continue to support an ongoing sense of wellness and vitality.

Angelic Reiki

https://www.myurbanangel.co.uk/therapy-angelic-reiki

Magick

https://magickjewelry.com/

Hi

https://www.soundcloud.com/kristie-ledwith-townsend

Meditation

https://oily.life/wholesomehome/tag/emotional-support/

Essential Oils

https://oily.life/wholesomehome/using-essential-oils-topically/

Lavender Sugar Scrub

https://abeautifulmess.com/2019/05/lavender-sugar-cube-scrub-diy.html

Foot Scrub

https://abeautifulmess.com/2019/05/citrus-mint-sea-salt-foot-scrub.html

Mindfulness

http://zenhabits.net/tired-2/

Essential Oils

https://naturaloilmom.com/what-you-need-to-know-before-you-use-essential-oils/

Kristie ♥️

https://twitter.com/KristieT2014/status/1132810138757271552?s=09

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#onelove
https://www.forevermissed.com/robin-francis-ali

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